Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
