saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
