Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
