god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
