Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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