Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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