just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
