So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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