So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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