I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Your dad touched me again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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