How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
