He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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