my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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