They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
