Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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