wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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