You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
