We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
