your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
