I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
