break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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