I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
