She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
