Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
