Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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