My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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