Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We are two peas in an std pod
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
