She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
