I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
