so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize