Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
