I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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