you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
