sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
