I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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