My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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