and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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