Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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