Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
