dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
