You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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