And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
