About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
