Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
