I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
