The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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