I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my liver is dry heaving
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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