Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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