Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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