is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
