i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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