so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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