you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
